Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
