Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Oh god it's open bar.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
