and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize