finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
