The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize