escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she pinky promised me she was 18
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
