He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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