I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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