he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
