I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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