glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
