My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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