ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
