Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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