I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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