How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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