She is in my trunk
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
