To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
