ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
