This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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