its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
