I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
