That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
