If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
