if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
