and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
