left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
