Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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