that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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