Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
