last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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