i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
