Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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