Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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