just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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