well you can't waste a boner
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
