Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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