Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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