my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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