o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
