Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
