Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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