Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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