So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
