So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
