She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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