I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
