textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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