I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
