Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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