i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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