Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
