He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
